Last week I spent a few hours here and there preparing. I got all the equipment out of storage. I checked everything was in working order. I planned meals and shopped for provisions. I organized and made lists and packed. I took 3 slow days off from work and prepared to spend them camping. 2 days and 2 nights in the rolling mountains of Shenandoah, solo. I wanted to spend some quiet time away from home surrounded by trees and scenic vistas. I wanted to lay in a hammock and read endlessly while listening to the wind in the leaves of the trees around me. I wanted to do it before my next surgery and before the threat of cold nights were peppered with the possibility of snow. Mostly, I wanted to go because it’s something the Sailor and I usually do together and I miss him. You see, he’s deployed right now for 7 long months. We have about 4.5 left to go. He’s somewhere over on the other side of the world camping out on a hot African beach or floating around in some foreign sea and I’m here in Virginia and it sucks. I thought maybe a little short foray into the mountains “like normal” might make it feel more “normal” even with him gone but, it didn’t. Making a fire at night didn’t hold the fun and excitement it should have because his pyro ass wasn’t the one making it. Sitting next to the orange glow didn’t warm my soul like it usually does because there wasn’t another chair next to me staring at it. So I laid in my hammock read books warmed by the sun and rocked by the breeze. I knit and colored. At dark, I stared at the fire eating sandwiches. And when I laid down in my tent I looked up at the same stars that hopefull he got to look at 8 hours earlier and let myself be sad knowing that missing his stupid face is OK. And driving 4 hours away to to escape all his things in the little apartment we share together to cope with it is ok too.
Marry a man that will hold you tight when days are rough.
Marry a man that will carry you to the bathroom when your legs fail you.
Marry a man that recognizes when you are sad and asks you what is wrong.
Marry a man that doesn’t mind tears and snot on his shoulder.
Marry a man that reassures you that you’re the one no matter what.
Marry a man that can make you laugh even when you absolutely don’t want to.
Marry a man that holds your hand in the darkest hours and tells you there is a light.
Marry a man that finds entertainment in the very presence of you, even if that’s at 2 am in the ER.
Marry a man that means it when he says “For better or worse, in sickness and in health”.
Marry a man that will watch 10 hours of Downton Abbey with you and never complain.
Marry a man that wouldn’t dream of letting you face a single doctors visit alone.
Marry a man that buys you a candy bar everytime he stops for gas.
Marry a man that would drive over an hour round trip alone just to get you a food craving when there is nothing else you want to eat.
Marry a man that will get you a drink from the kitchen 20 times a day even when you’re not sick.
Marry a man that loves your pets as much as he loves you.
Marry a man that loves you enough to buy you hemroid cream.
Marry a man that will drive you at 12am to get ice cream.
Marry a man that will rub your aching legs without you having to ask.
Marry a man that tells you you’re cute even when you lose your hair.
Marry a man will clean the litter box for you.
Marry a man that wants you to be happy above all else.
Marry a man that you want to be happy above all else.