Me: The Sailor is going state side today for a week so, I’ll be solo here.
Friend: Oh, any big plans?
Me: I’m having a party.
Friend: Aw, you’ve met some friends then? Yay!
Me: Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, me and the cats with a oversized bottle of Rose. Woo! Par-tay!
Friend: Aw, I’m sorry.
Me: Why?
Friend: Aren’t you lonely all by yourself?
Me: Uh, I’m not all by myself, I have the cats. And it’s only a week. Besides, I’m cleaning the house all nice so I can lay around surrounded by all my throw pillows, watching whatever the hell I want on TV, knitting, with my fancy scented candles burning, not wearing pants in a clean house… I literally might have a dance party in my fluffy socks in the ugliest pajamas that I own. Or I might take a hot bath for 3 hours. My options are endless.
Friend: Ooooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyyy
Paddle Your Own Damn Canoe 