Leading up to this new job that I started just a mere 2 weeks ago, I had brainstormed possible careers that I could be successful at should I choose to make a change.
1.Professional Pinterest Pinner. And I’m not talkin’ about repinning the same tired links, I bring unique new shit to the boards bitches.
2. Dog walker. I like animals far more than people so this could work. But I will only walk them in places where I don’t have to pick up their doodie with a bag covered hand. That’s just gross. So scratch that. Maybe a dog letter-outer. In your fenced in back yard.
3. Professional baby holder. I feel this would be best served as a hospital employee. You hand me a baby and I will hold the shit outta it. And then I’ll give it back.
4. Professional at Keepin’ It Real. Like a life coach, but more blunt. And vulgar. I might slip and call you names. I’d charge by the hour.
I am open to other suggestions. I do know what profession I should not pursue, cat haircuts. I dabbled in that once. That cat is dead now.
Paddle Your Own Damn Canoe 